When you are born into this world there is a whole life ahead of you. You are born with the will and choice to shape your life as you wish. However, once we develop abilities to comprehend our environment, society starts to shape us.
Our parents, neighbors, friends, siblings, teachers, leaders, etc start to alter our innate being to what is conventional or known in society. If we do not look within to become the best version of ourselves, we either become the best version of someone, society, or a person we hate to be.
At the moment of our death, we look back at the life behind us. We then ask ourselves if we really lived the life we wanted to live. If we were the person we should have been. If we loved ourselves as much as we should have. And most of all if we lived the best version of ourselves.
What is being the best version of yourself?
Becoming the best version of yourself means becoming the prototypical and archetypical version of yourself. As simple as it sounds, it is true. You are that person you want to be. You were, you are and you will always be.
Just like diamonds sunk in mud, you only need cleaning and polishing to shine. What has put mud on you that you need to remove is society and the instilled fear to explore the unknown.
We look outside of us to see what everyone is doing. To see what everyone is becoming. That being perceived as the known, we try to become what everyone is becoming despite our conscious not agreeing. Conformity is terror to the soul.
Take, for instance, a child born in a family of doctors will most likely pursue the same career despite his desire to become an NBA star. Because his family has proven that it is possible to become a doctor, he can easily believe it than making it to the NBA.
The best version of yourself comes from within you. It is that person your heart, mind, and body wholesomely agree to become. It is that person that you are excited to wake up to even when times are hard.
It is that person you will look back at, in your final days on earth and be satisfied that you did the best you could, that you embraced yourself and created a material world that only existed in you. That you are going to live that world behind and not die with it.
Without further ado, let us explore how you can become the best version of yourself.
How to be the best version of yourself?
1. Discover who you are and who want to be.
Who are you right now? Is your conscience well with the person you are right now? Is your heart coherent with who you are now? Do you smile when you look at yourself or feel hungry and in need to seek something to breathe more life into you?
If you figure out that the person you are right now will not make you proud of yourself in ten years then ask yourself who do you want to be. Who you are right now isn’t the best version of you. The person in your mind is the best version of yourself that you need to create.
Note: It is important to note that the best version of you is created from within. He or she should not be influenced by anything or anyone outside your mind. Let your career, character, personality, etc come from within you. Independently thought out and in line with your innate abilities, heart, and mind. So should, your hobbies, love life, sexuality, etc.
2. Find out what you need to do to become the best version of yourself.
So you have a picture of the kind of person who will sit well with your soul in ten years to come. What do you need to do to become that person? The best way to clearly think this out is by writing down everything that describes the person you want to become do. Then pick out the things you need to start with to pursue that version of yourself.
If your goal is to become a basketballer do not be overwhelmed when you look at successful players like LeBron James. At some point, these players also thought about becoming who they are now. At some point, they took baby steps. If it’s within you, you can materialize it for the world to see it.
3. Ignore the ‘’WHEN’’
Operate beyond the measures of time. The only thing that should measure how soon you want to be the best version of yourself depends on the intensity of how much you want to become that person. If you breathe, eat, walk and talk that version of yourself, nothing can stop you from becoming that person in the shortest time possible.
Often time is the best killer of dreams. Millennials are pressured by a lot of things to achieve success in the shortest time possible.
Fundamental success in becoming the best version of yourself takes time and work. If someone told you that you will be what you want to be in five years, you might look at it as a long time. Five years can elapse with you just dreaming about becoming the best version of yourself and nothing of your work to show.
4. Reach out to who you need to help you.
At some point, we need external help. Maybe guidance from someone who has walked the journey we want. It can even be a job that we want to have. Be intentional to work on yourself at the cost of your insecurities and limiting self-beliefs. Do not make any assumptions just walk to that person and ask them in the politest way you can.
When we want something so bad, the universe conspires to get us that thing by sending people or things in our way that can help us. If it’s a potential mentor that crossed your mind, believe signs from the universe and do something about it. Do not succumb to limiting beliefs like the fear of rejection, shyness, or being unable to socialize.
I got my dream job of being a news anchor by doing a demo video and taking it to some of the famous news editors in my country. At first, I feared they would not give me attention but did it anyway. Yes, some didn’t give me the attention. Others just smiled and promised but after six months one called me and connected me to my dream job.
Mentors and kind people can help you reinvent yourself into the best version of yourself.
5. Show up and start.
A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. As cliché as it may sound, it is true. Before you walked, you crawled, then got on your fit, staggered until you had enough balance to walk by yourself. No matter how old you are, there is always an opportunity to start.
Do not be limited by your fear of failure, fear of shame, fear of being treated as a junior or beginner, fear of being looked down on by others. Just start. When you start, show up every day. It will be had at the beginning but believe me, you will gain balance soon and sail through your way to the best version of yourself.
6. Leave the short cut route
The pressure to succeed can create an urgency to get quick success. You may look at your friends who seem to have everything figured out and wonder if your life has meaning. Then there are exaggerated social media accounts of people you know who seem to be having the best time of their lives on earth. You get the urge to quickly want to be like them. Sit down.
Let me tell you something. If God lets you see what lies behind people’s smiles you will be grateful for who you are. The friend who has a very high-paying job is struggling with stress and depression from the demands of his boss.
People are fighting battles you hardly know of. But they put on a façade and make it seem like all is well. Short cuts to success in anything usually have success last as short as it took to get. Take it step by step. Brick by brick you will soon have a tower. Like Andre De Shields says, ‘’Slow is the fastest way’’
7. Brand yourself.
Do not be afraid to put yourself out there for the world to get what you can give. Master the art of branding yourself. You do not have to be an expert. For as long as you have a conviction about something someone out there can learn from you.
However, when you brand yourself for the world to receive you, be able to keep growing so you can sustain your position and also aim for higher heights. If you have learned how to start a business, take on the face of that field.
There are millions of people in the world clueless about how to start a business. They will be grateful if they access what you know. Then through continuous growth, you can scale your audience to advanced business knowledge.
Also, make good use of social media platforms. In this modern world, your brand will reach millions of people 100 times faster than in the old times. Make use of Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, blogs, etc.
8. Bite a piece per day
When we set goals, most times we get overwhelmed by the dread of how much and how long it is going to take us to achieve them. Take for instance you have a lot of weight on you and wish to get that gym body of your favorite Hollywood star.
You set the goal to get it. The urgency to have it kicks in and the monkey in your mind starts saying statements like, it is going to take a lot of work, it is going to take a lot of time bla bla bla..
Yes, as much as that may be true, it is not impossible. The dude with a shredded body started somewhere too, they didn’t get it in one day. It took a lot of practice and worth forgetting speeches for your best speaker to perfect his public speaking skills.
Live your goal in the now and don’t focus on just enjoying the fruits of it. Let yourself enjoy the process as much as you will enjoy the fruits. You will not lose weight in one shot at the gym or on a low-calorie diet.
Do what you have to do every day. The compound effect of consistency and persistence will make you achieve things the lazy procrastinators only dream of. Every day of practice draws you closer to your goal. Assuming that your goal is a large pizza, bite off a piece every day soon or later you will have it all completely eaten.
9. Increase your value
Your life is a reflection of your value. The people you hang out with are a reflection of your value. The men/women you date are a reflection of your value. Likewise your bank account, followers, food, reasoning, etc.
To change your value you have to do things that make a difference. The things that determine your value are your body, mind, soul, and financial status. The major one of them all is your mind. If you work on your mind, the rest will definitely fall in place.
Read books that widen your knowledge base. Reading puts you miles ahead of many people in terms of logic, problem-solving, thinking, and a lot many benefits. Take courses that help push you forward. We live in a world where accessing free or cheap yet valuable courses is only a computer click away. Grow your mind. Meditate and get enough rest.
For your body, eat foods that enrich it, exercise. Get in shape, dress your best, stay clean and look your best. A body in shape and well-groomed does 40% of selling you. 60% is what you say and do.
Daniel Hamermesh, an economics professor at the University of Texas in Austin, and author of ‘’Beauty Pays’’ confirmed that good-looking people earn at least 3-4% more than average-looking people.
Good looks are not just a pretty face. It is more about what everyone can get if they put in the work ie an in-shape body, fitting decent clothes, hygiene, confidence, etc.
Your soul also contributes greatly to your value. Good and positive energy is contagious and can be sensed naturally by anyone.
Have you ever met someone for the first time then your heart hesitated to welcome them only to find out later that the person was not a good one or had bad intentions? Or even met one later who you liked immediately. This all depends on the energy one’s soul emits.
Wash your soul of all the negative energy and sink it into positive energy and emotions like joy, love, compassion, gratitude, etc. Set your soul to be life-giving water to others, not one sucking energy from people.
You will attract the right following and people that you need in your life. If your soul is negative, people will repel you. With the right mind, body, and soul, your financial status will follow suit to much your value. The more value people can get from you, the more money they are willing to give you.
10. Grab the opportunity.
When your value starts to shoot up, opportunities that you had never imagined to come your way start to flow in your life. However, due to our past limiting beliefs, we sometimes fail to make use of those opportunities.
There is always a monkey mind telling you how you can’t do it, how someone else better will be at that job interview, how you do not have enough expertise to write a book or start a YouTube channel, and many more.
Do not self sabotage yourself. You deserve the opportunities as much as anyone else who wants it. Get up and grab it, the rest will fall in place. I have never been to a journalism school but jumped on an opportunity to become a news anchor which I am proudly are right now. I will go to journalism school later.
However, make sure you do not sell yourself short by jumping on any opportunity that comes by. Both low and high-value opportunities will come your way, choose the best that matches your ambition and goals.
11. Be your own manager.
Have the ability to detach yourself from you. Detach yourself from your efforts, emotions, progress, work, dreams, reactions, character, etc then evaluate yourself often to see where you did well and where you fell short.
Do this at least weekly. Sunday night is my self-examination time of the week to check my progress in terms of body, mind, soul, and money. This will not only help you keep track of your progress but also keep your mind focused on the best version of yourself you want to become.
12. Write, write and write.
Writing helps you put your dreams, thoughts, goals, and ambitions before your eyes. When you write them down and read them, your mind perceives them as real and possible. It also helps you get clarity of what to do.
Writing helps you prioritize to do things that need the most immediate attention. This makes you more productive, helps you save time, and also manages your time and energy. Every morning I write down the things I have to do in my notebook. I tick every task I finish. With this, I am always able to do at least 90% by day end.
13. Only compare you to you.
Comparison to other people is the thief of joy. It is true. When you compare yourself to others, you are left with only negative energy. If you do and realize that you are doing better than the person you are comparing yourself to, you will get false joy.
Why would you feel happy because someone else is not doing as well as you? That is negative and false joy. It is not sustainable. Even still, we are all different with different goals, objectives, ambitions, etc.
The person you are comparing yourself to maybe working to retire once he makes a million dollars. If your goal is beyond a million dollars, will you stop pursuing your dreams when that person retires?
The only person you should compare yourself to is you. if you are better than the person you were yesterday then believe me you are on your way to becoming the best version of yourself. If you continue comparing yourself to someone else, you will end up becoming the best version of that person.
14. Be open to learning
Knowledge and skills are infinite. In the dynamic world we live in, new problems and solutions sprout out every day. If you put a stop to your propensity to learn, you will wake up one morning when you are miles behind everyone.
Marketers who refused to embrace online marketing and stuck to traditional marketing have been ousted out of the industry by those that took the trouble to master the modern skill. You do not know everything in your line of expertise. Be willing to learn always.
Never go to bed without a new lesson or experience. Resist the false pride to think that you know everything. One virus to the mind that people who have managed to rich prime versions of themselves have, is the grandiose perception that they know everything. Keep hold of your listening and learning abilities.
15. Burn the bridge of your past
One of my most inspiring stories is that of Hernan Cortez who in 1519 landed in Veracruz’s present-day Mexico. With only 600 soldiers and not enough weapons, Cortez burned his ships to stop his soldiers who were scared and planning to sail back home.
With the ships burned to ash, the only option the soldiers had was to fight the better equipped big Aztec army. With nowhere to retreat to, they fought their hearts out and conquered the Aztecs then took control of Mexico and all its gold and silver deposits.
Burn anything in your past and kill the person you are right now then walk towards the best version of yourself. Most times when we face a challenge or get overwhelmed we are quick to fall back to the known or survival mode.
Assume that the only way you have is the way forward however scary, overwhelming, or challenging it may be.
Once your mind accepts that you are not withdrawing to your past, it will give you all the determination, endurance, consistency, and focus you need to get the best version of yourself. What kills all those is you having a fallback plan.
For example, if you have dreams of becoming a Hollywood star, you will most likely fail to become one if you have another job to take on if acting fails. The reason why Hernan Cortez and his 600 men fought and won a more equipped army of over 5000men was that the only option to survive was a victory. Every part of their body knew this and had to collaborate.
16. Be a giver.
If the best version of yourself aims at taking from the world, you might just give up and remain who you are now. Power lies in being a giver. So many people stand on the receiving side to receive but few go to the giving side to give.
If you want to be the best version of yourself that will change and inspire the world go to the giving side. Have something to give. Learn a skill that aims at giving back to people or the community.
This does not only make you more valuable but also makes you a leader, influencer, and an authority. If you want attention from the world, give attention to the world. How do you do that? Do something people get value from.
British author of the Harry Potter series wrote the novels to give an interesting story that attracted a lot of attention in the world. In the end, she got rich and famous. E.T Thomas speaks power and motivation into people who go on to pursue dreams and achieve them. People pay him to speak to them.
If you have something to give like love, inspiration, a skill, a lesson, guidance, mentorship, money, etc you will have a lot of people following you.
17. Develop important and quality relationships.
You are an average of the five people you spend the most time with. These have a big influence on your line of thought, actions, goals, motivation, dreams, and value. Surrounding yourself with people that hold you accountable to become the best version of yourself will push you miles ahead.
Not to forget, do not trade your family for your relationship with your goals. We start with family and end with family in our life journey. We need a good social life, we need love and people. No man is an island.
So many wealthy people are depressed due to a lack of social life. If you have friends and family you can sit and have meaningful heart-to-heart conversations, do not lose them on your way to the best version of yourself. They knew you at your worst do not ignore them at your best.
18. Celebrate your wins and kiss your failures
Every brick you successfully put on your tower of success should be celebrated. This does not only create positivity and self-belief in you but also makes your mind understand how much your goal means to you. when your mind subconsciously understands this, it puts you on autopilot to chase the goal.
The emotion of joy and gratitude after achieving a small goal sets you up to achieve big goals. You do not have to throw a big party, a little dance and singing can do the magic.
Celebrating the small wins makes you enjoy the process. When soldiers win battles in a war they sing and dance which motivates them to win more battles and finally win the war.
On the other hand, do not beat yourself up when you fail. From failure, we learn lessons that help us succeed in the following attempts. On your first attempts to speak in public, you are going to stammer or even run out of words to say, that’s part of the process.
If you show up to speak the next day, mistakes will be less. The more you do it, the better you become and the fewer mistakes you will make. Before you know it you will be the best speaker people have ever known. But if you give up on the first attempt, you have failed yourself, those that believe in you and the best version of you.
19. Pray and meditate.
You do not have to subscribe to any religion or spiritual beliefs. Even atheists pray. When you pray, you remind yourself of the things that are a priority in your life. You position your subconscious mind to embrace those things. When you pray, you create a conversation with yourself and promise yourself the things you desire and deserve.
Mediation is one tool that has been beneficial to many great men from as far as 2000 years back. Among many benefits, meditation helps you position your mind to focus and also align your body, mind, and soul to create a coherent world outside of you.
Conclusion: as Oprah Winfrey says, ‘’you are only on this planet to be you, not someone else’s imitation of you. Your life journey is about learning to become more of who you are and fulfilling the highest truest expression of yourself as a human being’’. We die every night into sleep and are born every day from sleep. Do you rise from sleep to build YOU or society’s perception of you? When you go to bed, do you sleep with a content heart that you did your best that day to become the best version of yourself? May all your dreams come true and may you become the best version of yourself.