It is painful to be dumped. It is even more painful to be left for someone else. Because someone believes you are deficient in something so they choose someone else over you. It hurts. I can assure you it does. I have been there. I have felt the pain. I dread the days. But I love the lessons.
As heavy as the heart may get when you are going through a heartbreak, it at some point gets light. The darkness fades and daylight falls. You are only not certain how long and when you will move on and be free from the pain and hollowness it brings.
At that point, you are unconscious of your power to move forward and change your situation yet it is within you waiting for you to redirect it to where it can work best for you.
Because you are overwhelmed by the pain of heartbreak, loneliness, rejection, sadness, and sometimes embarrassment, you become wrecked with emotions and vulnerable to them.
You become impulsive and obsessed with the desire to either get back your ex or have them get a taste of what they have put you through. I very much support you on that.
I hate it when people act like angels and disregard the concept of revenge. We are human beings subject to karmic laws. You can not break someone’s heart or use them selfishly and just get away with it.
Someone has to get vindicated. Another has to get a payback. However, it matters what kind of revenge we want to get. So before you stand up to go and vandalize your ex’s car or punch her current guy in the face, hold your horses.
By the end of this article, you will have designed the perfect revenge for that fucking ex that put you in the bad place you are in right now.
Things to do before planning your revenge.
The best of life decisions are made when we are indifferent to emotions. When we are not sad and when we are not happy. At a point when we are in control of our thoughts and emotions.
When you are suffering from the heartbreak or pain of being dumped for someone else, you are most probably impulsive and being controlled by your emotions. That is a bad place to plan revenge.
By the way, if you have desires for revenge or need to hurt your ex, do not feel guilty about it. Do not even judge yourself. Everyone that has ever got a heartbreak has felt that way at some point.
Some have gone on to act upon it. Others have talked themselves out of it. The losers are those that have talked themselves out of it. keep reading you are going to know why. Before we even continue to do what we have to revenge, let me give you reasons why you need vengeance.
- She/he left you for someone else.
- He/she lied to you.
- He/she left you because you are broke.
- He/she compared you to someone else and concluded that you are less good looking. Perhaps they even called you ugly.
- That fool wasted your time.
- That fool thinks you lost.
- She/he is somewhere bragging about how they dumped you.
You can get a piece of paper and write down the things I left out that you know that fool needs to pay for. Why? Because I want you to get vindicated and it’s worth it. Don’t talk yourself out of it.
Note: if you talk yourself out of it, you will still be that person he or she left for someone else. (my ex said that to my friend before she got a shock of her life. She was like…’’ he is still the same Brian I left for….’’)
Anyway, you do not have to plan for revenge when you are in the middle of the heartbreak ocean. Here are the things you need to do before you plan for revenge.
1. Go no contact.
The urge to beg your ex back or send them texts calling them all sorts of names will give you short-term relief from the pain of heartbreak. In a blink, you will be back to the pain.
In fact, it will even be worse. Contact with your ex only worsens your situation. Yes, you want to work out things and you are hopeful they will take you back. No sweetheart.
Please don’t make a fool out of yourself. By begging someone back into your life you are euphemistically saying that you are a cheap, low-value, and desperate human that has no other choice in life but your ex. Don’t give them the chance to feel that. It’s not toxic. It is knowing your worth.
Delete your ex’s number, block them everywhere, change the address if you can and avoid any place you are most likely to bump into him or her. If you have a child with him/her, keep it at the children nothing more. Ask them to respect the new boundaries you have created.
This is what no contact will do for you.
- It will help you rethink your life forward.
- It will help you face your pain and deal with it.
- It will quicken the process of going through a heart break to finally move on.
- It will help you get back control over your emotions and thoughts.
- It will save you from the pain of seeing your ex pretend to be happy with the new person or alone.
- It will save you from embarrassing yourself to give your ex more reasons to justify why they left you.
- It will help you plan your way forward to make yourself better and worthy making your ex regret their actions.
2. Make peace with life after being dumped.
I will not ask you to forgive your ex. No, you won’t. Forgiveness is not something you just say with your lips. It’s something that happens in your heart. You can not forgive your ex when your heart is still going through trauma and pain.
Imagine you were in the desert very thirsty, you land on a bottle of water and as you open it, someone snatches it from you and drinks it. You wouldn’t forgive that person when your body is dying from dehydration.
Unless they give you back the water or you find another bottle and drink the water. Until the dehydration is gone, that is when forgiveness can come into the equation.
Until you have gone through healing, forgiveness is something you can never do so don’t think about it. Accept that you are heartbroken. Accept that you have been damped. Accept all the pain you feel and make peace with it. When you acknowledge your situation and stop living in denial, you give way to the next thing. HEALING. That is when healing starts. That is when you become sober to plan for the best revenge and also start over.
3. Let yourself go through the pain
Imagine you were drowning in a swimming pool with your ex standing at the poolside seated on the chaise lounger. You want them to drown as well. You can not make them drown when you are yourself trying to save yourself. Fight and swim, get out of the pool, and then you can push them in to drown.
That is how impossible it is to get even with your ex when you are still nursing a heartbreak. Allow and give yourself time to recover first. Lose the battle to win the war. At that moment he will seem like he is winning unaware that you are rejuvenating yourself, stabilizing, and strategizing so you can strike at the perfect time with the perfect bullet.
Cry if you have to, talk to someone, stay in your bedroom to hang out with your sad and painfilled self. It is then that you can release the pain and perhaps impulsivity that your ex would use against you.
The fighter with the most emotions loses the fight. The one that controls his emotions the most is at the highest advantage. One way to control them is to let yourself accept them so you can release them.
4. Know why your ex dumped you.
It takes two to tangle. Sometimes we have a lot to do with the reason we got dumped. Honestly, if we put emotions, pain, and shame aside, we might find that someone had a strong reason to dump us.
If we think deep and find that we have a lot to do with it, the best revenge is asking that person to forgive us even if they do not plan to come back. Then you will have to go on and change the things that made you worthy of dumping. It can be your manners, selfishness, betrayal, etc. There is no revenge necessary here.
But if you dig deep and find that your ex has more to do with dumping you, stick with me and plan on. If he left you because of the reasons we mentioned earlier (reasons to seek revenge) then write them down because we shall have to plan the perfect appropriate revenge.
Note: the perfect revenge is that which will do the following,
Make your ex want to come back
Make you free from your ex
Make your ex know that you moved on and are very okay without them
Make your ex regret their decision to leave you
Make you happy
Make you worth more than your ex
Give you back your power.
Types of revenge for your ex.
This kind of revenge is temporary as it sounds. Because it is temporary, it is easy to make. Because it’s easy to make, the impact is short-term and in most cases bites both you and your ex. It is important to note that it bites you more. If it’s a choice of winning a battle or a war, this kind is a battle.
When you choose to take temporary revenge, you win the battle but lose the war. Take, for instance, you have a deep desire to make your ex pay for breaking your hurt so you go get the heaviest stone and hit his car.
He will lose money or his car but will later use it against you to justify his decision of dumping you. You will feel short relief and be like… ‘’at least I fucked up his car’’ but that will be temporary. Maybe you will go on a smear campaign and even hire www.getrevengeonyourex.com to tarnish his name but that will hurt you more.
This is not the kind of revenge we want. Nope, it doesn’t have the qualities of the perfect revenge listed above.
I broke up with my ex in 2009 because I didn’t have money to give her a big birthday surprise. Very immature I was. She was so hurt. She nursed her pain, picked herself up, and became a lot of things that later made me regretful.
She didn’t even take me back when I begged. Lots of lessons she taught me. It took me a long while to move on. We are friends and even laugh about it. But that will never take away the fact that I lost the war. That is perfect revenge. Below are the qualities of perfect revenge;
- Perfect revenge does not bite you back.
- Perfect revenge makes you stronger and wiser
- Perfect revenge makes you proud of yourself
- Perfect revenge makes everyone know that your ex made a mistake dumping you.
- It makes your ex lose it.
- It makes your ex want to come back to you.
- It makes you clearly sure of what you want in life.
- Perfect revenge gives you your power back
- Perfect revenge makes you more valuable than your ex.
- It makes you love yourself more.
- With perfect revenge, there is nothing your ex can do to influence what you do, think or feel. They lose power over you
The benefits are unlimited. You win the war when you get perfect revenge.
When we are going through heartbreak, we sometimes become impatient to get perfect revenge. Because your girlfriend left you for being broke, you start to think that by the time you get rich maybe in two or five years, it won’t matter to her anymore.
Believe me, it will matter to her even 15 years from now. Whether she falls in love with someone else or not.
Because your boyfriend left you for being out of shape do you think it won’t matter by the time you get in shape? IT WILL MATTER BIG TIME.
Did he leave you for a more beautiful person, you can become a lot of things that are beyond a more beautiful face.
How to impose the perfect revenge.
Let me give you a summary of my experience and how I got my perfect revenge. My ex-girlfriend was the second after my first. The truth is she was the first I ever loved so much. We were together for two years.
In the first week of the first lockdown, she left me for a rich guy. I was broke and struggling to make ends meet. Later I find out she was cheating on me before she dumped me.
To my face she said, I was broke, a loser, and a failure. That was so hurting. I got depressed but got myself up. Took on jobs, wrote books, started a business, trained to become a news anchor, and got a job on a Tv station.
All this happened in a space of less than two years. She has begged her heart out and even asked to be my second girlfriend when I lied to her that I have someone else. I forgave her and have nothing against her but can’t turn back.
Here are the steps I used and followed to get to my perfect revenge.
Step 1: Identify the goals
Get three plain papers and write the following three phrases on one paper each. Body goals, mind goals, and financial goals.
Body goals describe what you want to look like.
Mind goals describe the state of mind you want to be in, the skills you want to have, the knowledge you want to acquire, and anything positive that you would want your mind to engage in.
Financial goals describe what your financial status should be like. The business you want to own, the job you want to get, the things you want to buy, etc.
Step two: Set the goals
Divide each paper into two columns, one for short-term goals, the other for long-term goals.
Write down the goals you want to acquire in each column. Give high priority to those goals that offset the reason why your ex left you.
Here are some of the goals I noted on my three papers.
|Short term||Long term|
|Lose my belly fat||Get a six-pack|
|Correct my posture||Have a full-body good posture|
|Get in shape||Build muscles|
|Short term||Long term|
|Read a book per week||Become more intelligent|
|Train to become a news anchor||Become a news anchor|
|Get over my ex||Get my power back|
|Develop a skill e.g writing||Become more confident/write books|
|Pick hobbies||Get a social life|
|Master retrospection||Build self-love|
|Short term||Long term|
|Start a business||Get financial freedom|
|Get a job to pay my bills||Become self-reliant|
|Get out of debt||Save more|
Pin the three pages somewhere near your bed so you can look at them every day after waking up and before going to bed.
Step 3: Strategize
Design a strategy to reach those goals. Keep it as brief and simple as possible.
Some of my strategies involved. Attending anchoring classes every day.
Working out for an hour 5days a week.
Writing at least a page per day
Reading a self help book per week
Step4: Get to work.
Perhaps the hardest step. You will have to put your strategy into effect. Commit to doing everything you have to do every day. You may be overwhelmed by how big or impossible the goals may be but if you commit, persevere, and consistently pursue them, you will in no time achieve them.
The goal seems too big in its entirety but when broken down into small daily goals, the speed at which it is achieved is unfathomable. If you want to get in shape and find it so hard to lose weight after a month of working out, you will remain fat if you give up.
You didn’t get out of shape in one day. It took you months of eating excess calories. It will have to take you months of burning extra calories. Do not give up when it gets hard. When you stay the course, that’s when results start to come.
The one constant activity to never write off.
Exercise, yes, working out is one thing that you have to do if you are going through a heartbreak or any emotional pain. The benefit is not only getting in shape and healthy. Working out has psychological benefits too. A heartbreak, pain, and negative emotions stimulate the production of cortisol, a hormone that causes stress.
Working out stimulates the production of endorphins. Endorphins are feel-good hormones that offset the stress hormone cortisol. So if you want to feel good, get on the road and sweat for at least 30mins.
It is not easy committing to jogging or lifting weights, at some point your mind tries all sorts of ways to convince you to just stop and give up. If you persist it gives up.
This creates neurological patterns in your brain that give you a persistent attitude. This carries on to other stressful and challenging moments in life. You become mentally and emotionally stronger because your brain knows you are used to getting through such situations.
But if you are emotionally and mentally weak, you get stressed more and sometimes sink into depression because your body and mind are not used to getting through tough times. The one thing you should not put aside is exercise.
Now that we know that the only way we can perfectly and permanently pay back our exes is by working on ourselves and our goals, let us not even dare to ask why I have not given you more information about imperfect revenge. No, I won’t, I wouldn’t dare. I don’t want your ex to win or you get jailed. I will let fake people talk to you about it.
What to do to measure the impact of your revenge,
It is not a wise decision to even care if your ex got served or not. Chances are by the time you even get halfway to your goals, you won’t even care. But in case there is that small monkey inside you, jumping and throwing tantrums until you find out if your ex got served, here are ways you can have it calm down;
Your ex will be creating all sorts of ways and excuses to access you.
You will have his/her friends try to show that they have no problem with you.
You will feel so fine without your ex.
You will have a new life that people want to be part of (including your ex)
Your ex will create rumors to restart the drama.
Your ex’s current relationship will probably hit a slump because its fuel was the broken you that does not exist anymore.
How to react after getting your revenge
Until you are fully free from any emotional wounds and pain your ex caused, do not become friends with him/her. They will notice that you still have underlying emotions for them, positive or negative, they will use them to get back into your life and hurt you again.
Work on yourself more. Become too good to be true. If you have achieved your goals, set new goals. Don’t throw in a towel. If you have made a lot of money and that’s not something you worry about anymore, set goals to travel the world, change people’s lives, etc.
If you have achieved your body goals, set goals to maintain them, etc.
Do not in any way show your ex that you won or do things to prove them wrong. They will use that against you. Just be your new self.
Conclusion: the saying that he who laughs last laughs best speaks volumes here. When your ex is celebrating and bragging about dumping you, he is laughing last. When you finally prove that you are beyond his perception of you, when you achieve your goals and change your life, you will laugh last. You will not laugh last when you put yourself under pressure to prove a point. You will instead pursue things that will give you temporary relief like getting into a rebound relationship, faking a good life, arbitrary shopping, drinking, etc. I wanted to so get rich quick when my ex dumped me for being broke. If I could rob a bank, I would. But I realized perfect revenge takes time and I let myself wait for the perfect time. It will not come as soon as you want though it can if you put in the work. Eventually, it will come, and believe me, it will be the right time. I hope you make that important decision and work on yourself. Because the person you want to become is the best revenge to your fucking ex. I love you.